A whole new business plan

Writing code for a living is a lot of hard work so I'm very pleased to share with the world a way to make a lot of money while just pissing off a few people.

  1. Create an ebay account
  2. Sell enough stuff legitimitely to get solid positive feedback and power seller status, preferably over several years
  3. Now you are invincible - people will trust you so....
  4. Start selling magazines on ebay
  5. Make sure to add the words "magazine subscriptions take up to 90 days please contact me before leaving bad feedback or taking a dispute"
  6. Sell a few months of magazines taking you up to the month of November
  7. Now its December the holiday season - your years of planning come to fruition - sell more magazines than ever before but don't actually order anything from the publishers
  8. January - nobody has noticed yet because its less than 90 days and people trust you. Keep selling more magazines.
  9. Empty your paypal account to prevent refunds
  10. Stop putting up new auctions, get a new email address and shut off the cell phone you gave ebay as the contact number
  11. February - there's a couple of people given bad feedback but it doesn't show as significant because you have thousands of good ones.
  12. March - 90 days have passed and all hell breaks loose
  13. Spend your ill gotten gains

I don't buy a lot of stuff on ebay - under 10 items a year - but I've been buying magazine subscriptions on there because they are so damn cheap. Up till this year I got ripped off once. In the last 3 months 2 magazine sellers have pulled the above stunt on myself and thousands of others.

Here's how you find out there is a problem:

  1. 90 days pass - no magazine
  2. Contact the seller through ebay - notice all the recent bad feedback and sigh... No response
  3. Contact the seller through email - no response
  4. Read the feedback that says they do not respond to disputes and their phone is disconnected
  5. Try to open a dispute - ebay won't allow it after 60 days
  6. Try to dispute through paypal - they don't care after 45
  7. Complain to ebay
  8. Get a form letter back from a robot telling you what you already know
  9. Send bitchy email to ebay asking for a human
  10. Get nice email back telling you that they will investigate
  11. Sellers account gets suspended but they don't care because they have already spent the money on booze or drugs or more holiday lights for their trailer.

Ebay of course will offer no advice beyond 'please read our FAQs to help regarding fraud'. Thankfully for the sellers its only a few $$ so not worth my time to file mail fraud charges in their states or whatever it is I am supposed to do. In fact i probably wasn't even worth my time writing this blog other than to let the world know about this easy money making scheme. I only charge 10% of your gross income!

So Gilbert Flores from Arlington, TX and Casey Parkinson from North Attleboro, MA I'd just like to send a big sarcastic thank you and hope you enjoyed your holidays.


Published 27 March 2008 08:18 AM by zman
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