Airline Logic

I just returned from a trip to GDC in San Francisco where United Airlines moved themselves very low down my list of airlines to choose if all other things are equal. I never actually say "I wont fly them again" because airlines are all much the same bunch of idiots and one year United may be bad and the next its someone else. Plus I am a total cheapskate and book on price and number of connections!

My favourite anecdote comes from the flashy information screens they have in SFO that tell you everything about the flight like who is on standby, what meals will be served (really yeah they have a screen for that - it says NONE) and in my case 'Reason for delay'.

Now you would think that would contain something useful such as snowstorm (maybe you have to stay the night), wing fell off (maybe you find another airline), or crew showed up drunk again (join them in the bar). But not United.. oh no this is what it said:

Reason for delay: Plane delayed

If only I had realised years ago that this kind of logic was acceptable - I could have got through life with so much less time wasted:

Why is your home work not done?  Because I didn't do my homework
Why are you in bed with that other women? Because I am in bed with her
What is the square root of 100? The square root of 100

In lesser airline stories some crazy power hungry united employees got mad at J for having 2 carry ons even though her backpack is half the size of the stupid 'I can fit 2 weeks of my life in hand luggage so I don't have to wait 10 minutes at the airport' wheely cases and her purse is smaller than a laptop bag. And people if you must take a wheely hand luggage the size of a small mountain then listen to the announcements that tell you to put it in wheels out. It just makes you look retarded when you put it in the other way and people like me will just move it anyway.




Published 26 February 2008 11:57 AM by zman
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