Just because you have a kid doesn't mean you can be a dick

[Disclaimer... I love most kids... this rant is for the crazy parents who lose all touch with reality because they discovered how to make a baby]

I live opposite a school. Its really not the inconvenience that some people think it is but one day per year brings out all the idiots who should have been sterilized at birth. The "its my precious babies first day at school" day. I'm not a callous emotionless bastard no matter what you have heard and I understand that its a big day that rates up there with "the first time he made pee-pee in the toilet", "the first day he uttered a grunt that your over tired brain interpreted as daddy" and "the first time you had to bail him out of jail because you spoiled him rotten instead of teaching him right from wrong". I understand that you want to see your child off to school, take thousands of photographs to annoy your friends with and possibly even shed a little tear as the result of 30 seconds of pleasure and/or a split condom turns his back and runs away from you.

But what I don't understand is why the hell you think its OK to park the butt end of your car across my driveway for half an hour... thankfully my drive is big enough to maneuver around you and thankfully I work at home but next year please try to teach your kids how to behave in public.

Idiot Parking

While I'm on the subject one of my favourite sights is when the police pull over a parent for speeding in the school zone often with the kids in the back. If the rest of us have to drive 20mph to protect your babies the least you can do is the same and teach your kids how to behave. Of course as I pass and grin I can already see you explaining to the 6 year old in the back of your polluting SUV (that you drove 6 blocks so that junior doesnt hurt his feet) that the policemen have nothing better to do than stop mummy and that they should be out there catching real criminals.

Thankfully all of my friends with kids are either too smart to engage in these behaviours (or too conceited to think I am talking about them!)

Published 04 September 2007 01:00 PM by zman
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